Answerphone and Contact Post

[thecopper]

Hiya, you have reached Gwen Cooper. I'm unavailable, so please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon--

Oh, Jack, this bloody well better be impo--

::click::

::beep::

{{please leave any messages for Gwen or her mun if you need to reach us!}}

Comments

[savagestime.livejournal.com]

Sorry for torturing your boss for a year! Well, not really. But I am sorry that you have to put up with him.

[handysparehand.livejournal.com]

Jakob! They go and do something stupid like evict Jakob. Of all the people left in that house. Jakob?!? Now I don't even know who I want to win. Jennifer, maybe. I don't even know anymore. I'm still in shock.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

[replied as a text message]

Is this some kind of joke? Because it's not funny. Who are you?

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

I assume this is your cell phone.

Which makes it interesting, because apparently you do screen your calls. You certainly pick up every time your husband calls. Even before he was your husband, actually, though I suppose fiances are close enough.

By the way, going to change your last name in the message? Or is this where all your elicit lovers call too? Naughty, naughty.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

How did you get this number, exactly?

And I pick up because he's my boyfriend. Er, my husband. And you, clearly, are not.

And as if it were your business, force of habit. I'm Williams on any official paperwork now. Just haven't got used to it yet.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

How do you think I got this number?

I'm hurt.

Ooh. You should practice. Slip-ups like that definitely don't look good. No they do not.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Oi, never mind.

I'm better with text, anyway. Not that I'm trying to encourage you.

Gwen Williams. Gwen Williams. See, I'm practising. But when you've been one person for 29 years it's hard to switch over.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

But I'm better with voices.

I don't have any trouble.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Fine. If you call I'll answer, unless you've called to take the piss or I'm wrestling with one of you alien types. Happy?

Well, there's no surprise, comin' from you.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

Ecstatic.

I'll take that as a compliment.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Good. I wouldn't have you any other way.

And you should. I wouldn't want to insult you, after all.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

You'd never do something like that. You're too sweet.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Oh, John. By now I would have thought you had the foresight to know I'm anything but sweet.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

Oh, carer. You try so hard.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Oh, John, don't patronize me. Just because I care doesn't mean I'm not capable of the same things you are.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

No, Gwenny. That's exactly what it means.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Call me Gwenny again, Johnny, and learn quite the opposite.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

Johnny? I think you're right. Time to stop. Because while we could call Jack 'Jacky,' Iantoy doesn't really work.

Though really, it was absolutely your terrifying threat that made me stop.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

It's easy for you to mock me when I'm not holding a gun to your head, isn't? Then it's all, "Oh, don't kill me, I'm trying to help."

And no, Iantoy doesn't work at all.

[handysparehand.livejournal.com]

The answer I think, to your questions on the message you left are no, absolutely, and surprisingly it is a scientifically correct term on some planets.

As for Wife Swap. It was brilliant. I'd take the family in the motorcycle gang over the army family any day. When that dad went off on the mum. And then at the sit down, and the rule changes....

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

I was trying to help. But killing me doesn't count. Anyone could want to do that.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

I am sure anyone would want to. Regardless, you still looked pretty scared.

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

No one wants to die.

[alien-catcher.livejournal.com]

Oh, did I hit a nerve?

[goodathart.livejournal.com]

You're very good, you know. Being able to kill someone you think is an enemy is quite an accomplishment. Of course I'm not dead, but I'm sure you meant it.