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rude_not_ginger... The Sex Meme
Apr. 20th, 2009 11:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thecopperIt’s something, Gwen Cooper thought, being a lost child. Always moving, always blown by the wind.
She thought being a Child of Time would fill the void that settled within her, the wound that festered and burned and itched her soul. What was left of her soul, anyway. It was a pathway that had been paved before her, by those greater, those stronger, those he probably loved much, much more. With all she had seen, all she had done, it seemed the next logical step.
A companion.
It was the only word, really. Not a partner, because that implied equality, and she was only a child to him. Not a friend, because that implied confidence and trust, neither that she felt she could to give him. Not a lover, because it implied both partner and friend. And she could give him her body, but she thought he wouldn’t want what was left of her tattered soul.
She had gone without thinking. Left the stone cold floor of Torchwood’s hub and, with Jack’s blessing, entered into the warm confines of the TARDIS. And the Doctor took her everywhere; he jabbered, he laughed, he shouted, he ran. He called her daft and he called her brilliant, both at least twice a day. She loved the way she felt around him; so tiny in his strength, so dull in his radiance.
She walked with a god.
But the void never truly vanished. He was a bandage over the wound, and forgetting was not healing.
He showed her amazing things that weren’t his. When she asked to see his world, asked to know about the time before she belonged to him, she was met with only the darkness of his eyes. Some kind of protection, maybe, but she didn’t know what he was scared of. She never understood how a god could be scared.
She would talk about Torchwood, and Jack, and Rhys, as if they were more than fading memories. As if they waited, frozen in time, for her return. As if the world no longer spun, because Gwen Cooper walked with the Doctor, and hoped he would wash her of her sins.
And for fleeting moments, he did. The first time, on the banks of the Endless River, which legend said had no beginning and no end. The second time, trapped in the caves on some unnamed planet, and they laughed when they realized they wouldn’t die after all. The third time, in the TARDIS, because there wasn’t much else to do.
There may have been times in between, but those moments were spread thin against eternity. They traveled between moons and suns, from times forgotten to times not imagined yet, and she even thought she loved him. She had been lost, and he had found her.
And then he would say a certain word, walk a certain way, smile a certain way, and the wound inside her burned. Because he reminded her of Jack, or Rhys, or the place she had once called home. And she began to dream of them at night, and she began to miss them.
And then one night, looking into his eyes, she realized she hadn’t been found. She had simply met someone else to be lost with.
She told him she wanted to go home. He didn’t convince her to stay, and she didn’t want him to. She walked out of the TARDIS and into the cold of the Cardiff wind. It whipped against her cheeks, and when she turned to look at him, he did nothing more than wave goodbye.
The icy air and the burning wound reminded her of what it was like to be alive. She knew she would never stand beside any again that burned so bright as the Doctor. She believed she had walked with a god, but she had never really known him.
It was something, being a lost child. But, Gwen Cooper thought, as she stood in the bitter wind and the TARDIS vanished before her, perhaps it was something more to simply stand still.
------------
Cut for Length
------------
Muse: Gwen Cooper, Torchwood
Prompt: Sexual Relations Meme
Verse: Open
Word Count: 677
She thought being a Child of Time would fill the void that settled within her, the wound that festered and burned and itched her soul. What was left of her soul, anyway. It was a pathway that had been paved before her, by those greater, those stronger, those he probably loved much, much more. With all she had seen, all she had done, it seemed the next logical step.
A companion.
It was the only word, really. Not a partner, because that implied equality, and she was only a child to him. Not a friend, because that implied confidence and trust, neither that she felt she could to give him. Not a lover, because it implied both partner and friend. And she could give him her body, but she thought he wouldn’t want what was left of her tattered soul.
She had gone without thinking. Left the stone cold floor of Torchwood’s hub and, with Jack’s blessing, entered into the warm confines of the TARDIS. And the Doctor took her everywhere; he jabbered, he laughed, he shouted, he ran. He called her daft and he called her brilliant, both at least twice a day. She loved the way she felt around him; so tiny in his strength, so dull in his radiance.
She walked with a god.
But the void never truly vanished. He was a bandage over the wound, and forgetting was not healing.
He showed her amazing things that weren’t his. When she asked to see his world, asked to know about the time before she belonged to him, she was met with only the darkness of his eyes. Some kind of protection, maybe, but she didn’t know what he was scared of. She never understood how a god could be scared.
She would talk about Torchwood, and Jack, and Rhys, as if they were more than fading memories. As if they waited, frozen in time, for her return. As if the world no longer spun, because Gwen Cooper walked with the Doctor, and hoped he would wash her of her sins.
And for fleeting moments, he did. The first time, on the banks of the Endless River, which legend said had no beginning and no end. The second time, trapped in the caves on some unnamed planet, and they laughed when they realized they wouldn’t die after all. The third time, in the TARDIS, because there wasn’t much else to do.
There may have been times in between, but those moments were spread thin against eternity. They traveled between moons and suns, from times forgotten to times not imagined yet, and she even thought she loved him. She had been lost, and he had found her.
And then he would say a certain word, walk a certain way, smile a certain way, and the wound inside her burned. Because he reminded her of Jack, or Rhys, or the place she had once called home. And she began to dream of them at night, and she began to miss them.
And then one night, looking into his eyes, she realized she hadn’t been found. She had simply met someone else to be lost with.
She told him she wanted to go home. He didn’t convince her to stay, and she didn’t want him to. She walked out of the TARDIS and into the cold of the Cardiff wind. It whipped against her cheeks, and when she turned to look at him, he did nothing more than wave goodbye.
The icy air and the burning wound reminded her of what it was like to be alive. She knew she would never stand beside any again that burned so bright as the Doctor. She believed she had walked with a god, but she had never really known him.
It was something, being a lost child. But, Gwen Cooper thought, as she stood in the bitter wind and the TARDIS vanished before her, perhaps it was something more to simply stand still.
------------
Cut for Length
------------
Muse: Gwen Cooper, Torchwood
Prompt: Sexual Relations Meme
Verse: Open
Word Count: 677
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-21 11:51 pm (UTC)This is awesome.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-22 12:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-24 12:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-04-24 02:09 am (UTC)