My Gwen

[thecopper]

{{OOC: ambitious_woman did this a while back, and I wanted to do it as well. Considering I've fallen off the wagon a bit with prompts, I was hoping it would help to start fleshing out some ideas that have been floating around since I asked for suggestions. As always, more suggestions and questions are welcome.}}

My Gwen…


… almost didn’t join the police. She finally did, when she realized she didn’t think of university as an option and wanted to settle down with Rhys.

… loved Cardiff so much that when her parents moved her to Swansea for two years, she never really forgave them.

… fears Suzie not because of what Suzie did but because of their commonalities, and the residing fear that she could easily let Torchwood make her into the monster Suzie became.

… still has nightmares about Rhys’ death, even though she has never told him. Since Tosh and Owen’s deaths, she has become convinced that Torchwood will kill either her, Rhys, or both of them.

… made decent marks but was never a stellar student. She enjoyed sport, though.

… knows her parents think she could have done better than settling down with Rhys and joining the police, and she’s never really forgiven them for that either, mainly because she believes it herself.

… simultaneously worries about Ianto’s well being and regrets what has happened to him over the years. A lot of her friendship with him is based off the fact that she is always trying to redeem herself for what she, and Torchwood, did to him. But she is less concerned with redeeming herself in his eyes and more in proving to herself she has been redeemed: she is just not consciously aware of that.

… admitted only once out loud that she was settling for Rhys, and vowed never to admit it again.

… is probably bisexual. Though she’s never thought about it very hard, the kiss with Carys made her wonder and Tosh’s affair with Mary made her wonder. She’s at least questioning, and isn’t going to discount a relationship with a woman until she tries it.

… has cheated on Rhys a number of times. The only time before she joined Torchwood was three years into her relationship, when they had a row, and she cheated on him with a bloke she met in a bar. She never saw the bloke again and doesn’t remember his name. This is also the only one night stand she has ever had.

… claims to not like cats. She actually loves cats, but after her childhood cat Daisy was put to sleep, she never really cared to have another pet and uses dislike as an excuse.

… holds grudges, in an extremely passive-aggressive way. She doesn’t hate many people, but she never forgets the way she was wronged. Her anger follows her around in brooding silence.

… lost her virginity at 15 to an eighteen year old with tattoos and a nose piercing. She does not consider it to be one of the highlights of her teenage years.

… has never been to the United States except on holiday for Florida once when she was sixteen. She’s visited a handful of places in Europe, and to every country in the United Kingdom, but most of her life has been spent comfortably and happily in South Wales.

… has seen many terrible things, but the event that stands out in her mind as the most horrific are the cannibals at Brecon Beacons. Gwen always believed that bad people were the result of being misguided or misunderstood. Only aliens could commit such horrific acts unhindered, because they were foreign and animalistic and didn’t care about humans. It was the cannibals that forced her to look into the darkness of human nature, and that was the day she began to believe in evil.

… believes in what Torchwood does, even though at times she doubts their methods.

… truly both loved and hated Owen. She loved how he made her feel, listened to her, touched her, flirted with her. She hated his snide remarks, his bad attitude, what he allowed her to do to Rhys, and mostly the fact that she knew he would never really belong to her.

… can’t admit she is selfish. She prides herself on her concern and love for other people, but refuses to admit that she has the same flaws that she abhors in others.

… loves Jack Harkness and always will. It’s as simple as that.

… never even considered an affair with Andy. Besides the fact that she was dating Rhys at the time, she never found him attractive or interesting enough to consider having a relationship with him, no matter how much he hinted at it.

… remembers the name of every single person who has ever died in relation to Torchwood since she’s been there. She’s never written them down, but the names reside in her head as a reminder to why she continues to do what she does.

… would still love to have children, and daily talks herself out of it. She worries that having a child would only put it in danger, or risk leaving Rhys a single dad at some point. But at the same time, she clings to her dream of children as just another thread to having a normal life outside of Torchwood.

… met Rhys in her first term in college. When they first met, she told one of her friends she wouldn’t date him if he were the last man on Earth. They started dating two weeks later.

… enjoys reality TV now more than ever because it is so far from any reality she knows. Science-fiction and horror movies have lost all appeal to her because they are too close to what she sees and fears every day of her life.

… sincerely regrets never having been closer to Tosh. She always thought Tosh was slightly weird, but in actuality, she really was afraid Tosh would never take her seriously, so she distanced herself. She didn’t realise any of that until after Tosh died.

… actually broke up with Trevor Kendal for the sole reason that she couldn’t have sex with him in front of his cat.

… really, truly, cares about people. When Andy accused her of becoming “hard,” she realised she was becoming something she had never wanted to be, and constantly reminds herself that she is who she is because she cares.

… saw the Darkness when she died. And will never, ever tell anyone.